Twink
by I wanna be the very best
Summary: The BAU girls say what type of stereotype each member of their team would be in the gay community. But they get found out when they mention a certain word. And who exactly do they think the twink it? No slash, bad at summaries. Funny


The BAU got bored very easily. Their favorite past time was assigning each other, as well as the other members of their team as things. Like Disney characters, colors, foods, shapes, and today… certain people within the gay community. They had already figured out that Emily would totally be a Butch, Penelope would be a Beard (she was fine with that, by the way), and J.J would be a Lipstick Dyke. Now it was onto the boys.

"I think Rossi would be a Bear." Emily said in a low voice, looking at the male in question.

They were all huddled in little kitchen, casually looking at all the members they were naming.

"Would Hotch be a Daddy?" The techie questioned, tilting her head slightly.

"I think he would." Her blonde counterpart nodded.

"What about my luscious chocolate Adonis?"

"Do you think he'd be a Size Queen?" Prentiss questioned, saying the only thing that popped into her mind.

"With how he goes after girls, I'd say most likely." The liaison nodded.

Then their team leader gave them a look that said 'get back to work', and retreated to his office. The girls just smiled and began walking back to their respective work areas.

"Hey, what about," Garcia asked, nodding slightly to their genius, who they were not sure whether or not was in hearing distance.

The girls looked at each other, and all cracked a smile.

"Total Twink." They all agreed.

"Twink, An attractive, boyish-looking, young gay man. The stereotypical twink is eighteen to twenty five years old, slender with little or no body hair, dresses in club wear even at ten AM, and is not particularly intelligent. A twink is the gay answer to the blonde bimbo cheerleader. There are two major theories about the origin of this word, both of which probably have elements of truth to them.

One, Twink comes from an acronym T.W.I.N.K. "Teenage, White, Into No Kink."

Two, Twink is a shortening of the name for the famous "TWINKIE" snack cake: a tasty, cream-filled snack with no nutritional value. The phallic shape of the "TWINKIE" snack cake should not escape ones attention.

Often being noted as being naïve, and cute, with nothing upstairs. The gay equivalent of the mainstream `chick'. Negative interpretations describing twinks are normal associated with the same type of males that are in the heterosexually community, that describe attractive young in shape women as stupid, sluts, bimbos, air heads, etcetera. To help make up for their own insecurities.

Twink is often referred to as having a "swimmer's build". Originally the term referred principally to blonds, but among gay people the term increasingly includes other young men whose features are those principally described previous, but are not necessarily blond. Although the archetypical twink is in fact a blond.

They are usually the bottoms during gay sex I.E. the catcher. Why are you talking about a bottom boy?" Their genius recited, popping his head up to look at them.

Everyone in the vicinity just looked at him, all were shocked.

"W-why th-the hell do you know that?" The brunette female asked him, jaw still by the ground.

"I'm trying to be more conversational, but since just cutting down on what I say didn't seem to help, I decided to learn stuff that other people would actually know about. By the way, I read Twilight, not a fan. But why are you guys talking about a uke? The partner on bottom, submissive one in relationship, usually younger and less experienced than the seme. Seme is the top or dominant one in the relationship."

It took the girls a second to remember that there was a question in there. Then they all blushed ferociously. None of their male team mates knew that they set things to them, like with the homosexual community parts they played. The girls stood there, only managing to stutter "uh, um, w-, uh" in between looking at each other while trying to think of something that could explain them.

Unlucky for them, the stun of their genius knowing something people actually wanted to know, and of being caught talking about their team in what would probably not be a welcome light, made it so that Morgan figured something out before they had a chance to make something up.

"Wait a minute; you guys were talking about one of us, weren't you?" he asked with a slight smile, walking up to the genius.

"Wh-what would make you say that?" Prentiss questioned.

"The fact that you're not looking me or Reid in the eye."

The brunette looked pointedly at him.

"You keep crinkling your nose. You only do that when you have something to hide or you're lying." Reid pointed out.

"We're not supposed to profile each other." She snapped at him.

"It's just observation. Whenever you try to make me think you have a good hand in cards, you crinkle your nose. And when you know you have a bad hand but say that you'll beat me, you do it too. I didn't profile you. I simply noted your behavior." He shrugged.

"I hate profilers." Garcia sighed.

"What are you all doing?" Hotch commanded, clambering down the stairs with Dave at his heels.

"The girls called one of us a twink, but they're not admitting it." Derek shrugged.

"What's a twink?" It was Rossi who asked, but they could all tell that their leader was equally confused.

"It's the gay equivalent of that blonde bimbo in high school everyone wanted to get with." The dark skinned male shrugged.

"Who'd they call a twink?" The eldest member of the team asked curiously.

"Me." The doctor said simply.

"W-wait, you heard us?" The girls asked scared, looking at each other in terror.

"No. But it's obvious you were talking about someone in the team. And I'm the only one that fits the physical characteristics."

The girls all looked at each other nervously, biting their lips.

"Sorry Spence." J.J. said hoping she would believe him.

"It's ok. I've gotten called that before. And I get called worse things on a daily basis."

"What do you get called on a daily basis?" Hotch asked curiously, having not been aware of one of his agents being called something bad.

"Kid." He shrugged, not looking at the man who called him that.

Everyone kind of looked at each other, then to the strong agent, and dispersed.

"I didn't know you didn't like that name." Derek said to Spencer, not knowing what else to say.

The genius just shrugged.

"I promise to stop calling you that."

"Thank you."

"No problem… Twink." The smile was clear in the elders tone.

Reid sighed, let his head fall and eyes close.

"That is not what I had in mind." He groaned.

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**Butch: A gay man/lesbian who is very masculine. Often used jokingly to show just how un-butch (feminine) someone is.**

**Beard: Any opposite sex escort taken to an event in an effort to give a homosexual person the appearance of being out on a date with a person of the opposite sex.**

**Lipstick Dyke: Slang word used to describe a very feminine lesbian (one who tends to always wear make-up and feminine clothing)**

**Bear: A man who is hairy**

**Daddy: Also known as SUGAR DADDY. An older man who takes in men young enough to be his own child. Sexual favors for money are the basis for this relationship.**

**Size Queen: Someone who judges a man by the size of his penis. Size Queens tend to look down upon men who are average sized…to them size really does matter.**

**If you would like, go to this website .**

**Read all of them, and leave a review of what one you are.**

**Jer says I'm a twink, and I say he's a total Flame.**

**Please review and tell me what you think you are/ what your significant other says you are. =)**

**Oh, and sorry I spaced out Spencer's definition of a Twink so much, it was just REALLY hard to read when it was all together.**

**Important notice is on my profile, go there. (Please)**


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